It hurts.

For years I was trying to avoid emotional attachments.
I'll try to explain why attaching yourself to another human being is stupid and makes you weak.

When you're alone, everything is alright... to cheer yourself up you only need to talk to a friend. To eat. Watch a movie.
When you're attached to someone... everything that that person does or doesn't affects you. You need that person to cheer yourself up. There's no movie, no ice cream that can help you as much as that person you're attached to.
Suddenly you stop being strong for yourself and start being strong because that other person gives you strenght.
I forgot that. I've became weak. I'm stupid. And right now... I can't think of anything that helps me recover what I used to be... Because not long time ago... people was just people for me... less important than a tree or a rock... and now... now... I feel that I need them.

I want to be free... I want my mind get back to me. I want to think again, to be critic again. I hate to see everything pink-coloured.
And that is what you get when you're attached.